Dude Builds A UFO House To Prove His Teenage Girlfriend Who Said He’d Never Amount To Anything Wrong

DM — The metal saucer-shaped home of retired industrial arts teacher Roberto Sanchez Rivera, 58, is meant to look just like a grounded UFO. Resting on the slopes of Juana Diaz in Puerto Rico, the otherwordly house exists only to prove a girl wrong after 40-years, and all because Rivera suffered the same fate of many geeks across the planet – he was dumped. As a love-struck teenager, Rivera was an artistic student from a poor family and he would send his girlfriend love notes with little UFO’s drawn round the side. He promised he would one day build a home for the two of them that resembled the flashing flying saucers of the B-movies that they used to watch in the local movie theater. However, one day, after three months of seeing each other she unceremoniously ended the relationship with a Dear John note, sending Rivera to the brink of suicide as he contemplated jumping from the 13th floor of his apartment. ‘It ended because she wrote him a letter saying she did not want to continue the relationship, because she didn’t love him anymore,’ said Maria Martinez, the 56-year-old current girlfriend of Rivera who lives with him in the UFO home and translates English for him. As the fame of his alien house on the hillside grew in the surrounding area, Rivera received an unusual visit four years ago in the dead of night – the girl who had broken his heart 40-years ago. The octagon home was in its final stages of completion and the girl was so impressed she told Rivera that she wanted to get back together with him, but Rivera knew that finally his feelings for the girl had gone and turned her down. Satisfied that he had completed what he promised himself he would, Rivera, who claims he has no interest in science-fiction has advice for anyone who finds himself in the same predicament.

I absolutely respect the fuck out of this guy. Yeah it’s completely batshit to work on a house for 40 years to prove a girl wrong. But you know what? I hold a grudge. I understand what he’s going through. Getting dumped sucks. Some chick dumps you and says you’re fat, you work out to prove her wrong. She says you’re stupid, you go get a library card. She says you’ll never build a UFO shaped house in the Puerto Rican mountainside, you build a UFO shaped house in the Puerto Rican mountainside. Doesn’t matter how long it takes. You do what you have to do to win the breakup, and there’s no clock on that scoreboard. Like for the last 39 years that broad has been strutting that ass saying “I told him. I knew it. He’d never build that house.” Wrong, bitch! In your face! House that hums the theme to Close Encounters, told you! Doesn’t matter that it took 4 decades. Doesn’t matter that this guy doesn’t like SciFi anymore. Doesn’t matter than he doesn’t even like this girl anymore. He won the breakup. And that’s something we should all respect.

PS – how bad does it suck to be the current girlfriend? I don’t care what your man says, he still loves the ex. Tell yourself whatever you want, but when he tucks himself into his rocket ship bed at night and jerks his dick to infinity and beyond, he ain’t thinking about you.

Which Sports League Has The Highest Concentration Of Talent In The World?

This argument has come up with my friends for years and honestly I’m shocked I haven't written this blog earlier. The question concerns the overall level of talent per roster and throughout the league, with sports needing more players on the roster watering down that concentration of talent and those drawing from a bigger pool of athletes (i.e international sports) increasing the talent level. Really — in simplest terms — this list is ranking the most difficult leagues to break into.

Here is my personal Top 5 most talented sports leagues in the world:

5 – La Liga (Spanish soccer)

Home of two of the best soccer teams in the world (Real Madrid & Barcelona), and even though I feel a natural reflex to backhand anyone who pronounces the city Bar-tha-lo-na with the fake lisp I can’t argue that their squad isn’t loaded with talent. Ronaldo and Messi? And you surround them with the best from elsewhere in the world? Reality check: every country on the planet besides us plays soccer. That’s an incredibly deep pool of talent to draw from with a very limited number of roster spots.

4 – NHL

Once wildly popular in all of North America yet recently dwindling down to the Versus network where I think they’re sandwiched between Slamball reruns and Curling, the NHL is still an incredibly profitable league that boasts some of the most nationally diverse talent in the world. And I mean nationally diverse as in players from different nations, because the NHL suffers from a serious lack of black, brown, dark brown, and yellow talent. Lots of potential greats have probably never even tried on skates.

3 – MLB

So many minor leagues and so hard to get to and remain at the major league level. Talent pool that includes all of the Americas as well as Asia, and according to the Little League World Series Africa apparently as well. Small rosters also make it difficult to secure a spot in the rotation. Although if you’re a big fat guy with a decent OBP you can DH until you’re 50.

2 – NBA

As terribly as many NBA owners have managed their own finances, the league as a whole has done a sneakily outstanding job of branding itself internationally. Chinese people love Kobe Bryant in a way that people from his own home town never could. The shit’s insane. Almost every continent on the planet plays the sport, and the rosters offer a very limited number of spots. Want an idea of how exclusive the Association is? A second-round NBA pick isn’t worth jack shit.

1 – English Premier League

I hate to say it but a non-American league boasts to highest concentration of talent of any other league in the world. While the NBA can claim that almost every country in the world plays basketball, soccer can literally say that every country in the world plays their sport. It’s ridiculous. I just picture Brazilian soccer camps that look like the Shaolin temple from Enter The Dragon with a thousand kids all practicing their footwork. I can’t imagine how good that bulldog faced little shit Wayne Rooney must be at kicking that ball to be so dominant in a sport with so much competition. Manchester United, Manchester City, Liverpool, Arsenal, and Chelsea are like vacuums that suck up the world’s best foot fairies. Big money = big talent.

Not on the list – NFL

Why the NFL isn’t on the list: 53-90 players on the roster at any given time means lots of people get the chance to “be on the team”, only 2-3 countries play the sport thus limiting the potential talent pool, also: punters, kickers, and longsnappers. Every father who loves their child should have them kicking goat heads and rocks until they’re in high school. The kicker who can consistently knock down 60 yard FG’s will be the owner of the world’s greatest job.

The Non-Official But Official How I Met Your Mother Character Power Rankings

It’s amazing how the entire world agrees that Lily sucks. She’s so that fucking girl that tries to piggyback on your group’s inside jokes. She never gets the hint that it’s guy time and she lingers for way too long. Everyone knows you don’t actually like Madden and you just wanna be that cool, Zooey Deschanel “one of the guys” girls. Luckily the show’s humor is supported well enough by the other 4 characters. With the new season starting last night, I present to you the HIMYM power rankings:

1. Barney- The self-proclaimed Barnacle is not only the best character on the show, but easily a top 5 character on television. He slays hood rats, crushes his banking job, and oh yeah… has deployed the most outrageously creative and innovative pickup moves to become a sex icon to whom all men aspire, while in reality, he’s gay. Nothing wrong with NPH getting his guzzle on in real life, but I just find it fascinating that a gay man can play the poster boy for straight. If he’s not your number 1, then you’re obviously a homophobe and quite possibly a racist.

2. Marshall- He would be the number 1 on any other show that doesn’t star NPH. Despite the fact that he’s married to the anti-funny, he brings to the table a witty and unique sense of humor that we don’t see anywhere else. No one on Men at Work is throwing out gems like Marshall’s “I’m too big for New York City” rant. That was honestly one of the funniest television moments I’ve ever seen. Actually that episode is a perfect representation of the power rankings in general- Marshall kills the big fish, small pond spiel, but is upstaged by Barney’s incessant need for a high-five.

3. Ted- Ted is a solid 3. I’m amazed how many people think Ted is an awful character. Granted, he’s a bit of a softy, but you need that juxtaposition with Barney. Otherwise, you just have two players and a married guy anchoring the show. The married guy, pussy monger, relationship seeker is a proven technique that dates back to the last couple seasons of Friends. Don’t fix it if it isn’t broken. Ted also provides someone for us to continually root for and applaud when things go his way.

4. Robin- Robin is only this low by default. She’s a shopping mall sensation in Canada and she’s every guy’s dream. Whereas Lily wants to be and is desperate to be one of the guys, Robin actually is that girl. She smokes cigars, drinks man drinks, and loves hockey. She just oozes perfection. She went through a bit of an uggo stretch in the middle seasons, but I forgive her, as I’ve learned she was actually pregnant in real life and concealing it on the show. Bravo, Scherbatsky- anyone that can still summon blood to the tip while bearing a child is okay in my book.

5.- Literally everyone else on the show besides Lily. Clint, Ranjit, Wayne Brady, even Punchy- Ted’s annoying, over-the-top friend from Cleveland (love him in Blue Mountain State though)- is better than Lily. I wish HIMYM took a really dark turn in the episode with Amanda Peet working in Marshall’s office. Lily finds out about the situation, spite-fucks some dude out of anger and the power couple breaks up. Ratings may have taken a momentary hit for a week or two, but it’s for the greater good. Lily’s stupid, corny humor is the only thing in the way of How I Met Your Mother being an elite show like Friends or Seinfeld. Band camp bitch has to go. They need to replace her at the start of this season with someone who doesn’t suck. Don’t even make a reference to it in the show either. Fresh Prince of Bel-Air did it like 82 times with the mom. Just get Debra Messing or something; she’s been a ghost since Along Came Polly

I Can’t Believe The Internet Is Still Believing This Story About The Dude Who Was Lost At Sea For 4 Months And Saved By A Shark

(SkyNews) — A lost fisherman who drifted at sea for 15 weeks, sleeping next to his dead brother-in-law, was eventually helped to safety – by a shark. Toakai Teitoi was stuck on a 15ft wooden boat for more than 100 days after he ran out of fuel and the vessel drifted deep into the Pacific. The father-of-six told of sleeping with the body of his brother-in-law who died during the ordeal, suffering severe dehydration. And he said it was only after the intervention of a circling shark that he was eventually rescued. Mr Teitoi’s ordeal began on May 27 after he had flown from his home island of Maiana to the Kiribati capital of Tarawa to be sworn in as a policeman. Instead of flying home he decided to join his brother-in-law Lelu Falaile, 52, on what was supposed to be a two-hour sea journey back to Maiana. But after stopping to fish along the way and sleeping overnight, they woke the following day to find they had drifted out of sight of Maiana and ran out of fuel. “We had food, but the problem was we had nothing to drink,” he said.”I left him there overnight and slept next to him like at a funeral,” Mr Teitoi said. He buried his brother-in-law at sea the next morning. Only a day after Mr Falaile passed away a storm blew into the area and rained for several days allowing Mr Teitoi to fill two five-gallon containers with water. He continued to pray regularly and on the morning of September 11 caught sight of a fishing boat in the distance but the crew were unable to see him. Dejected, he did what he had done most days, curling up under a small covered area in the bow to stay out of the tropical sun. Mr Teitoi said he woke in the afternoon to the sound of scratching and looked overboard to see a six-foot shark circling the boat and bumping the hull. When the shark had his attention it swam off.

As far as unbelievable stories go, this one is probably at the top of history’s list. Not one part of it makes a lick of sense. First of all, on a planned two hour fishing trip they had enough food on a 15 foot boat to last 4 months? On a 2 hour fishing trip you bring a case of beer and maybe a PB&J. Then it rained hard enough to fill two 5 gallon containers of water? It didn’t rain that hard during the monsoon scene in Jumanji. Finally, a shark woke him up to show him a boat? Sharks aren’t puppies. They’re bad fish. Not like going down the pond chasin’ bluegills and tommycods. This shark, swallow you whole. Little shakin’, little tenderizin’, an’ down you go. Just no chance any of it is real. Obviously this guy just went out there and killed his brother in law then made up some ridiculous story about a shark rescuing him like it was Our Lady of Guadalupe. But whatever, believe this tall tale if you want. I’m not gonna waste my time arguing with a man who’s lining up to be a hot lunch.

Study Says College Kids Learn Absolutely Nothing In School

USA – Nearly half of the nation’s undergraduates show almost no gains in learning in their first two years of college, in large part because colleges don’t make academics a priority, a new report shows. Instructors tend to be more focused on their own faculty research than teaching younger students, who in turn are more tuned in to their social lives, according to the report, based on a book titled Academically Adrift: Limited Learning on College Campuses. Findings are based on transcripts and surveys of more than 3,000 full-time traditional-age students on 29 campuses nationwide, along with their results on the Collegiate Learning Assessment, a standardized test that gauges students’ critical thinking, analytic reasoning and writing skills. After two years in college, 45% of students showed no significant gains in learning; after four years, 36% showed little change. Students also spent 50% less time studying compared with students a few decades ago, the research shows. “These are really kind of shocking, disturbing numbers,” says New York University professor Richard Arum, lead author of the book, published by the University of Chicago Press.

I can tell you literally one thing I remember learning in college. That you should hold your stretch for 15-20 seconds for optimal effects. Fitness Walking P.E. credit. Yes Fitness Walking. Yes our final exam was a timed walk around the track. That’s what stuck with me. The rest of it is just a garble of random equations and books and lectures and papers. A little tidbit here and a little tidbit there. The only thing anybody learns in college is that nobody learns anything in college. What you do learn is how to drink, how to party, how to be on your own, how to be independent. You make your best friends for the rest of your life. You clean your shit up enough senior year so that you can pull down a job. I guess the possible exception would be pre-med but even then I’m not so sure considering some of the craziest wildest drunkest maniacs I knew at school are doctors now. Just saying I’m not too shocked at this study that nobody learns shit their first 2 years of school. Of course you don’t. But you learn the important stuff.

Bettman, Owners: To Hell With The Players, Fans — We’re Locking You Out

There’s really nothing else to say at this point. It’s honestly just embarrassing. When everyone who knows you’re a hockey fan talks to you about it like they expect you to kill yourself at any moment, there’s no pride left in being into the NHL. So what am I supposed to do now?

I don’t want to write about numbers or escrow or rollbacks or hard caps anymore than you want to read about them. But just know this: all of the blood for the third lockout on Gary Bettman’s watch is on both his and the owners’ hands. This is wholly preventable but the owners, after getting the system they wanted, no, demanded, seven years ago, want to blow it all up again for their further financial gain.

After the last time the NHL locked the doors, they treated the players like the rednecks treated Bobby in “Deliverance” and won huge concessions from the players. What happened next? The league, thanks to less obstruction and arguably the best collection of young talent ever, thrived like never before. Revenues rose billions of dollars in record time and every should have been making money. But because some owners either can’t, don’t, or won’t run their ship right (or their team is in a place where it‘s not able to), the NHL wants players to once again make ridiculous concessions because the teams that these several of these same owners made hundreds of millions of dollars in expansion fees from are now floundering and not built for long-term success. Now? The owners want to roll out the pinball machine and give the players the Sarah Tobiastreatment. Fucking shameful.

The owners are basically like spoiled, entitled, dysfunctional Kennedy kids who fuck off and pull their puds and do reckless shit because they can but then find themselves up shit’s creek. But then they just rely on Joe Sr. (Bettman) to bail them out yet again. And the fans? We’re the interns and secretaries and actresses and coeds that become the collateral damage along the way—fucked and then dumped off to the side with nary a care.

The NHLPA paid dearly before. They’re willing to make concessions now. They’re 100% in the right. They’re willing to play under the current CBA just so they DON’T HAVE TO CANCEL THE FUCKING SEASON. But the owners don’t want that. Fuck you, pay me.

Owners set current market. And they couldn’t approve expansion franchises quick enough (the same franchises that are at the crux of the problem right now) so that they could get their greasy mitts on the expansion fees. This is a problem completely of their creation yet they want the players to take the hit. Incredibly, they’re still handing out ridiculous contracts just hours before they try to fight them.

The players will need to stand strong and hope to wait the owners out. Right now, there’s no reason to think they can’t. The smarter/richer guys prepared well ahead of time. But others? These guys aren’t afraid of work. They’ll do skating clinics, Europe, demo work, KHL, shovel shit, whatever. As mostly Canadian boys of hard-working stock, they’ll do what they need to do to keep the bills paid. They just need for those first several games to peel off the calendar, when owners start feeling the pinch of missing the gate money, the food money, the merch money, the TV money, the Winter Classic loot. The guys building $15M fifth houses on waterfront Dartmouth estates can ride it out. But when half-to-two-thirds of his peers are begging to make a deal and the players are firmly resolute, well, that’s when then the rubber meets the road.

If the players hold firm, the owners will blink eventually. Will it suck for hockey fans? Yeah, of course. But some things aren’t just worth fighting for, they need to be fought for. For the NHLPA, this is that time.

They’re not being greedy. This isn’t “millionaires vs. billionaires”. These guys aren’t pampered stars living the life of a hip-hop video. The road life is a non-stop fucking grind of travel, practice, downtime, and beating the shit out of their bodies. They deserve every cent they get (well, most of them) and, after taxes, agents, lawyers, etc., they don’t take home nearly what you think. They’re the most elite athletes on the planet simply looking to continue working and are willing to take less even though they’ve done nothing wrong and the money is pouring in.

Hopefully, the players find some semblance of victory and owners, seeing the folly of their increasingly arrogant figurehead’s incompetence in preventing work stoppages, will kick him to the curb before he festers, becomes the next Stern, and starts nixing trades with the wave of a hand. Bettman said the cap would bring down ticket prices. Mine have gone from $28 to $45 in just 3 years. He also said the league was going to make sure that the NBCSN would start appearing in hotel rooms. That hasn’t happened either. The guy’s a full of shit lawyer that can’t be trusted and regardless of how this shakes out, three lockouts in one tenure is three too many and it’s time for him to go.

Here’s a few numbered buds for your lockout bowl. Be sure to stock up.

100%. How much the fault of the lockout falls on Bettman and the owners.

Untold millions. How much money that ushers, bar owners, hot dog vendors, restaurants, waitresses, building maintenance, bartenders, police, stores, and thousands of others will lose out on.

Several dozen. Alternate hockey options in Buffalo and Southern Ontario this fall/winter. Drive down to Rochester to see the Amerks or stay in Buffalo to see Buff St. (Hi, Celina), UB, or Canisius .

0. How much money you’ll blow on $9 piss-warm beer. Also, how many fucks the owners care about the fans.

180. Dollars I won’t have to waste on awful preseason games that I’m forced to buy as a season ticket holder.

1/1/2013. When to expect to see the next NHL game. Hey, it worked for the NBA last year.