So This Porn Star Facebook Chatted Me A Couple Days Ago

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Lucky Bastard Wins $1 Million Lottery, 3 Months Later Wins $2 Million

Missouri: The odds against winning $1 million in the Lottery: Astronomical. How about doing it twice? It happened to a man from Bonne Terre, Missouri Lottery officials said on Tuesday. Ernest Pullen, 57, won $1 million with a “100 Million Dollar Blockbuster” Scratchers ticket in June. And this month, he won $2 million with a “Mega MONOPOLY” Scratchers ticket. Pullen, a retired military man who was working at the help desk for a telecommunications company before retiring after the first lottery win, said he considers himself to be a “lucky guy.” John Wells of the Missouri Lottery said the chances of winning $1 million in the “$100 Million Dollar Blockbuster” game are 1 in 2.28 million. The odds of winning $2 million in “Mega MONOPOLY” are about the same. Pullen recalled a dream six years ago in which he won a lot of money. Even after the $1 million win in June, he didn’t feel like the dream was complete. He does now. “All the numbers I dreamed about, and all my lucky numbers, were on the card,” Pullen said.

I was watchin Cash Cab the other day. Every day actually. And these two goofballs walked out of the cab with like 650 bucks. And I thought to myself, if I won 650 bones on a cab ride right now I would lose my fuckin mind. I’d probably make out with that Mr. Clean lookin taxi driver. Double or nothin video challenge? Go fuck yourself dude! I can turn the heat on in my apartment this winter with $650. Peace!

Meanwhile this motherfucker is averaging a million a month on goddam scratch offs. “I consider myself to be a ‘lucky guy’” You fuckin think, Ernest? One time I got out of a cab in Madrid and my cell phone fell out of my pocket, but I was able to run down the street and find the cab at a red light and get my phone back. THAT’S lucky. One time I was in a rush and the subway was pulling up as I swiped my metro card. I said to myself, wow thats lucky. One time I convinced a chick who was wayyyyy better looking than me to have sex with me. That was luck mixed with a carefully calculated assault on her inhibitions and judgment with alcohol. These are all lucky things. Not winning back to back bajillion dollar jackpots.

So don’t feed me some bullshit about you having dreams of the numbers like you’re fucking Hurley from lost and say “i guess I’m lucky.” Tell me you’re just the most talented lotto scratcher the world has ever seen or tell me you sold your soul to the devil. Dick. Hope this guy ends up addicted to meth broke in the gutter like all those other mid-westerners who win the lotto.

How Fucking Nuts Would You Have To Be To Use The Wiimote Mojowijo Vibrator With Your Long Distance Girlfriend Or Boyfriend?

IGN GEAR - Designed as a means for people to “stay in touch” over long distances, the Mojowijo is an add-on accessory for the Wiimote that allows for stimulation of either a male or female user. The concept is called teledildonics and is geared toward taking internet chat and phone sex to another level by allowing accessory-induced stimulation to be controlled remotely via computer. How does the Mojowijo work with the Wii? Well, it doesn’t. It works with specialized software installed on a computer and connects with a Wiimote via Bluetooth. The Mojowijo is not compatible with the Wii itself. The add-ons use the company’s patent pending Motion2Vibration technology, which allows users to enable a variety of motion and vibration effects to either a remotely connected accessory or another user in the same room. The Mojowijo will also be compatible with online chat clients, beginning with Skype. The company plans to add MSN, Yahoo, Google, and Oovoo to their list of supported clients in the future. DuMosch came up with the concept six years ago, and after independently developing prototypes with other software developers and engineers, he began SKDu LLC and started marketing and manufacturing the Mojowijo. The Mojowijo will enter the beta testing phase in early October, with pre-sales beginning on November 26. The final version will ship to consumers on December 14, just in time for the holidays. Pricing is expected to range from $50 to $130 in both individual and bundle form.

This may be one of the worst ideas in the history of technology. I mean look at that fucking thing! You’re telling me I’m gonna log on to Skype and let this fucking robot claw clamp onto my dick while a girl operates it remotely to virtually jerk me off? What if she like saw some racy photos on Facebook that day or heard I was hanging out with the chick down the hall too much? Only thing worse than a jealous girlfriend is a jealous long distance girlfriend who’s got you at her mercy with a fucking robot clamp on your cock. Not to mention I can’t even get on Facebook without my shit freezing talking about a Javascript runtime error or something. Would hate to see what happened when the Teledildonic software malfunctions with my dick in its metal hand. No thanks. I’ll stick to beating myself off and just wait until flights go on sale like a normal couple. So sorry sweetheart but unless that Wiimote Mojowijo transforms into your mouth and blows me while I watch Sportscenter then walks into the kitchen and makes me a turkey sandwich I’m gonna have to pass.

Soccer Goalie Just Gives Up On His Career After Two Miscues

Video #1

So this happened a couple weeks ago. Obviously this guy totally sucks and I’m sure if we could translate that announcer he’s probably saying this dude should kill himself.

And then like 3 weeks later, same dude fucks up again and just calls it a day mid game. Just cancels his own career right then and there.

Video #2

Gotta respect the shit out of this dude. Take me out of the game coach! Let me fuck you guys up with some truth – the most important thing in this world is knowing your own limitations. Knowing your audience and knowing your limitations. If you can’t stop a ball from going in the net, you ain’t a goalie. If you can’t fuck a 10, you better aim for the 6s.

None of this Sky’s The Limit bullshit. Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are shooting stars? No motherfucker! Those are just airplanes that are probably gonna crash and you’re mediocre just like this goalie! At least he has the common courtesy to give up on his dreams and aspirations before he embarrasses himself any further. Doesn’t waste my time, your time, and most importantly his own time.

So when my first born comes up to me and says “Dad, I wanna be an astronaut!” I’m gonna reply “Wolverine, you’re too stupid and probably too much of a pussy to be an astronaut, you should go to vocational school and be a bus driver.” Save him years of despair and shame when he inevitably falls short.

Some people say “Shoot for the moon, even if you miss you’ll land amongst the stars.” I say “you’re seriously not as smart or cool as you think so you should probably lower your expectations and settle before its too late."

Study Says Just Holding A Beer Makes You Seem Dumb

AOL – (Sept. 15) – It doesn’t take a Mel Gibson tirade to know that people say dumb things when they’re drunk. But new evidence shows that drinking is bad for your image even if you don’t open your mouth. In fact, according to a working paper from the University of Michigan’s Scott Rick and the University of Pennsylvania’s Maurice Schweitzer, just holding a glass of alcohol makes you look stupid. It does not matter if you’re male or female, or whether you drink beer or wine — if people see you drinking, they think you’re dumber than you’d otherwise appear. “It hurts you,” Rick tells AOL News. The study conducted five experiments. One had people judge photographs of others holding an alcoholic drink, a non-alcoholic one or nothing. Another experiment tested how persuasive a speech would be if the audience knew the speaker was drinking alcohol or something nonalcoholic. In both cases, alcohol dimmed the perceived intelligence of the people holding the drinks. The most damning and universally applicable finding, however, came from the experiment that melded alcohol and job-seeking. Let’s say a potential employer takes you, the potential employee, to dinner. The study shows that when you order a glass of wine or a beer, the employer views you as less desirable — even if the employer orders a drink as well. “There are so many associations with alcohol,” he adds. And very few of them are positive, as Rick’s study reminds.

If you go through the archives of Barstool Syracuse, you’ll see that one of my favorite past times is making fun of “studies.” Its right up there with people getting hurt and me referencing my days in elementary school. There are dozens of “studies” that I have ripped over the past year ranging from “guys don’t like to fuck fat girls” to the “most sex happy city.” But never have I come across a more outlandish study than this. If I were alcohol I would sue this Scott Rick joker for slander, liable, and everything else under the sun. Because this entire notion is a bold face lie.

Holding a beer does not make you seem dumb. On the contrary motherfuckers. It makes you seem completely normal is what it does. You ever look at someone in a bar who doesn’t have a drink in their hand? They look like a fuckin idiot. Matter of fact they look downright dangerous. Its like when you see an unattended package at the subway station or some shady character acting shifty wearing bulky and inappropriate clothing. Last time I saw some dude creeping around the bar without a beer in his hand I called 911. If you see something say something.

Bear in mind that the entire point of going to a bar is to drink alcohol, no? So how does the guy that goes to a bar and doesn’t drink look smart? I’d assume you’re lost or a foreigner (and we all know foreigners aren't real people). Thats like going to In N Out and not getting the burger. If you ain’t gonna drink go do something that sober people do. I dunno I wish I could give you an example. Bowling? Movies? Its been a while for me. So fuck you Scott Rick. Not only do I not look stupid holding my 12th Bud Light of the evening, I probably look super cool.

How Much Would You Pay For This Floating Hover Bed? $1.6 Million?

Video

WonderHowTo – If you’ve got $1.6 million in spare change, imagine this: you could be sleeping on a bonafide hovercraft. Designed by Dutchman Janjaap Ruijssenaars, the Floating Bed is the world’s most expensive bed, employing “never weakening permanent magnetism” to hover above the ground.

In this worlds, there are needs, and there are wants. A $1.6 million dollar floating hover bed is a need. I need this bed. Without it, I don’t know what I’ll do. Because in case you didn’t notice, I’m kind of a big deal. An International Blogging Sensation, if you will. And International Blogging Sensations can’t be resting their head at night in a red race car bed anymore. I flat out need a hover bed. This bed uses never weakening permenant magnetism. This bed is the reverse of reality. It is reality turned upside down. It needs cables to prevent it from falling upward. So I’m accepting floating hover bed donations starting now. Lets get me 1.6 million dollars.

PS – This is the same thing as a hammock, except nobody wasted 7 years of their life coming up with the hammock

FBI Stops Dude From Blowing Up Wrigley Field

NBC Chicago - A 22-year-old man was arrested Sunday morning after placing a backpack containing what he thought was an explosive device into a Wrigleyville trash can, federal authorities said Monday. Sami Samir Hassoun has been charged with one count each of attempted use of a weapon of mass destruction and attempted use of an explosive device. Hassoun’s arrest after midnight Saturday comes after a months-long investigation during which he unknowingly worked with an informant and an undercover FBI agent, officials said. Hassoun, who is a Lebanese citizen and permanent resident alien, in June began expressing to an “associate” the desire to commit acts of violence in the city for financial gain and to cause “political transformation in Chicago,” the FBI said. Those acts included a biological attack on the city, poisoning Lake Michigan, bombing the Willis Tower, assassinating Mayor Richard Daley and attacking police officers. He ultimately settled on Wrigleyville as his target and wanted to use a bomb that he would detonate on a weekend night in order to inflict maximum damage. Two months ago, Hassoun’s associate introduced him to an undercover agent who said he was from California and had access to explosives. On Saturday night, Hassoun met with the agent, at which time Hassoun was given a backpack containing what he thought was a high-powered explosive device. The agent showed Hassoun the bomb’s components and instructed him on how it worked, the release stated. Although the “bomb” was intended to look real, it was made of inert materials and unable to explode. Hassoun was then watched by agents as he placed the fake explosive into a trash container.

I fucking love stories like these! Not because somebody tried to kill a shitload of people with a weapon of mass destruction obviously. But because it just shows that shit like 24 is real life. Like there are a bunch of Jack Bauers running around the country stopping Lebanese dudes from blowing up Wrigley Field at the last second and CTU snagging Times Square terrorists on the runway as their plane is literally all set to fly out etc etc. That’s some bad ass shit. And also because it shows just how fucking dumb these guys are. Like pretty sweet job working your way down that checklist bro. Got to 1) Wrigleyville and really shit the bed huh? I mean you show up and the first guy you talk to is an FBI informant who gives you a bag full of confetti and pop rocks. Can only imagine what you had in store for the Willis Tower. Pussy. You want to fuck with America you got to come a lot stronger than that dude.

Gross Pregnant Chicks Sneaking Past Airport Security

MSNBC – If a woman really wants to get around the rules barring her from flying in late pregnancy, there’s little an airline can do to stop her. Investigators believe that a Filipino maid who gave birth in an airplane toilet two weeks ago deliberately wore baggy clothes and some sort of girdle around her stomach to conceal her pregnancy, Gulf Air spokeswoman Katherine Kaczynska said Tuesday. It’s not clear how far along the Filipino woman was in her pregnancy when she boarded the 10-hour Gulf Air flight from Bahrain to Manila, the spokeswoman said. The airline has procedures to identify pregnant women checking in for flights, “but if someone conceals the pregnancy, it’s difficult and nigh on impossible for us to tell,” Kaczynska said. While the vast majority of women heed airline rules against flying during the last four or five weeks of pregnancy or comply with requirements about providing a medical certificate from a doctor, some manage to conceal their condition or lie about how far along they are so they can get where they want to go.

Fucking great. If someone dumb enough to get knocked up can sneak onto an airplane, how tough can it be for a crazy terrorist to sneak onto an airplane? This just proves my theory that preggo bitches shouldn’t be allowed anywhere once they start getting super pregnant. Like the home stretch last 6 weeks or so when they’re extra fat and gross and could explode at any minute. Why would you risk that shit out in public? These fatties just need to stay inside for a while, not hop on the 10-hour journey from Bahrain to Manila.

One of my biggest fears in life is being stuck somewhere with a bunch of really pregnant chicks and they all start giving birth at once. Just queef after queef of waters breaking and crushed placentas squishing on the floor. I’d rather airport security let a whole crew of terrorists on my airplane than a single pregnant woman. At least with the terrorists I can maybe try to die a hero. But if some pregnant chick in the row ahead of me bursts there’s going to be gross shit everywhere, plus one more baby on board that’s won’t stop crying. I’m sitting here quietly just trying my best to hold in my poop until we land ladies. All I ask in return is you do the same.

Guess That Ass!

And the answer is Camila Davalos. Not sure exactly what her deal is but I do know when you put her into Google you get a whole lot of good stuff. And a chick like that is just fine by me. Not going to lie I’m kind of hesitant to analyze the ass today after what I said earlier. Like what if I tear her down and she runs off to get basement butt injections and drops dead? It would totally be my fault. I mean not like there is anything to be critical about here but if we are being super nitpicky she could shorten that thing up because we’re not far from a long-ass here.

Get It Bieber!

Celibridoodle – Justin Bieber has a new girlfriend and her name is Jasmine Villegas! Justin was recently seen making out with Jasmine in the back of a car in Venice, Californian. Jasmine actually stars in Bieber’s “Baby” video and is the opening act on his concert tour. The pair have been close friends for some time but its clear know that they are more than friends. The 16-year-old songer has actually already made a name for herself by posting sevral pop and R&B songs on YouTube and has even signed with Epic Records.

Not gonna lie I’m pretty impressed by Bieber here. Just seemed like the type of kid who would let his mom set him up with some cornfed stuck up prissy blonde bitch on the Disney Channel or something. Nope Bieber’s just pulling some Latina heat in the back of his Ferrari F430 like it ain’t no thang. Can’t hate on that. As long as this little shithead stays away from Victoria Justice me and Bieber are still bros.

I’m So In Love With Victoria Justice Once She Turns 18 It’s Not Even Funny

I’ll be honest this chick has been all over my radar for a while now although I kept it mainly to myself since she’s been like 14. I mentioned her in a post once briefly but left it at that. But no longer can I keep my feelings to myself especially not after she presented at the VMAs. Just pure class and beauty. I mean it’s not like I’m up here blasting pictures of her asshole or cleavage on the beach or something like that other chicks on the site. I would never degrade her like that whether she was 17 or 27. She deserves better. I mean Bieber practically tried to fuck her on stage when she presented his award and you KNOW you’re hot to trot if Bieber is trying to fuck you. I’m telling you February 19th is going to be the happiest day of my life because I’m going to officially get rejected asking Victoria Justice out on a date. Yes that is her birthday.

Does This Look Like The Face Of A Professional Gamer?

Asylum - Pro Gamer Raychul Moore may be the perfect woman. The woman who won’t gripe when you sit around all day playing video games is rare. Raychul Moore, then, is extremely rare — not only will she encourage it, but she’ll challenge you to a match and then blog about her victory later. Asylum recently spent some time with this buxom lady gamer at her San Francisco pad. Among other little nuggets, we discovered that she takes the letters “KO” to a whole new level.

Uhh no that doesn’t sound like the perfect woman? I mean call me gay but the absolute last thing in the world I want to do with the hot blond over my apartment is play Bio Shock 2 on Xbox 360. Shit would get old in about 10 minutes. Not to mention coming home from work every day tripping on wires and Cheetos and pizza crust while the fucking surround sound is blasting from a first person shooter and this slut is talking shit to some pimple faced nerd in Oregon on her headset. No thanks. Listen sweetheart I could care less about the level maps and RPG dynamics in God Of War 3. You want to be my perfect girlfriend? Switch the TV mode back to ESPN, take your top off, and go make me a fucking turkey sandwich in the kitchen.

Heidi Watney Getting Her Fuck On!

I don’t know who this creepy guy with the pockmarked face is, but I’d give my left nut to be him. Because I’ve seen this look from Heidi before. This is the choo, choo… climb aboard the Watney Express because it’s about to leave the station and start fucking everybody face. Man I love this chick. She doesn’t care if you’re a ballplayer, creepy dude, or security guard. She is always down to party. Let me lick your face Heidi! Let me lick your face!

Am I Gay If I LOVE This Enrique Iglesias Song?

Music Video

I’ve been meaning to blog about this song for like two weeks now. Because this is the best fucking song on the radio right now by a fucking mile. Like forget about chicks getting wet when they hear this. My dick leaks a little pre cum everytime it comes on. Not even joking. How good is it you ask ? I’ve already bought it 4 times on Itunes. Itunes just keeps telling me I already purchased it and I keep saying I don’t give a fuck. Hit me again Enrique! Hit me again! So the question is does loving this tune make me gay or does everybody pretty much love this whether they admit it or not?

Vote 1 for it makes me gay and 10 for Pit Bull + Enrique = Magic.

So K-Rod Is A Lunatic Huh?

NY Post – K-Rod’s injured right thumb must be feeling better — he sent 56 text messages to his estranged girlfriend, despite a court order barring him from contacting her, authorities charged yesterday.He now faces additional criminal counts because of the stream of pleading missives he sent to Daian Peña seeking reconciliation. Prosecutors say the texts violate an order of protection issued against Rodriguez after he allegedly pummeled Peña’s father in an August meltdown at Citi Field. “I know this message could get me in trouble again, but I already lost you, my house and my children,” Rodriguez wrote. “Daian, I understand that perhaps I made a mistake, the biggest mistake of my life for doing what I did but I love you.” K-Rod began a weeklong barrage of 37 texts on Aug. 19, a week after the order was issued. “Lets find a solution to this conflict, baby if you really loved me do not deny me the opportunity to fight for you and my children,” he wrote. Kessler said K-Rod traveled to Venezuela on Aug. 30 where he sent the mother of his twins — who turned 1 yesterday — another 19 texts. “Your parents are manipulating you like a marionette . . .”, an increasingly frustrated K-Rod wrote.

First off, color me impressed with that last text there! “Manipulating you like a marionette” I would have been good money K Rod wouldn’t even know what a marionette is. So thats good for Frankie – maybe he can become a writer of some sorts after his baseball career ends. Which is on the horizon folks because I think this dude is on the verge of a meltdown. He’s getting old. Burned out. Can’t handle the work load. Coming to the realization that he’s not what he used to be. Probably gonna go to jail and end up voiding his bagillion dollar contract.

Wouldn’t be one bit surprised if all this shit happened to me in a couple years. Start posting only like twice a day, ugly smokeshows, cant even make a simple Does This Look Like The Face Of joke because I was just worn down from my early blogging career. A smut wunderkind they called me. Rose to the top and then came crashing down. Blogging scouts always warned me about my mechanics – said I was the poster child for carpal tunnel and shit. And the daily wear and tear of Barstool Sports takes its toll and before you know it I’ll be punching my dad in the face and texting married smokeshows

Why Did Clinton Portis Have To Apologize For Saying Chick Reports Check Out Players Packages In the Locker Room?

Washingtonpost - Which brings us to Tuesday morning, and Clinton Portis’s 10:30 a.m. debut on The Mike Wise Show, in this case hosted by Holden Kushner and Brian Mitchell. The whole thing was great, but eventually, the topic of Ines Sainz — the reporter whose treatment in the Jets locker room has become a national story — was raised. Portis, to be fair, wasn’t familiar with the case, so he was offered a quick summary. Here’s what Portis said.
“You know man, I think you put women reporters in the locker room in positions to see guys walking around naked, and you sit in the locker room with 53 guys, and all of the sudden you see a nice woman in the locker room, I think men are gonna tend to turn and look and want to say something to that woman. For the woman, I think they make it so much that you can’t interact and you can’t be involved with athletes, you can’t talk to these guys, you can’t interact with these guys.
“And I mean, you put a woman and you give her a choice of 53 athletes, somebody got to be appealing to her. You know, somebody got to spark her interest, or she’s gonna want somebody. I don’t know what kind of woman won’t, if you get to go and look at 53 men’s packages. And you’re just sitting here, saying ‘Oh, none of this is attractive to me.’ I know you’re doing a job, but at the same time, the same way I’m gonna cut my eye if I see somebody worth talking to, I’m sure they do the same thing.”

This Ines Sainz thing is still going on? Really? I don’t get it. Chick has a killer ass. She knows it. She wants attention. She wants to make dicks yearn. Mission accomplished. So how did Clinton Portis’s comments turn this into a larger discussion about women in the locker room? And what is Clinton Portis apologizing for? Are people really claiming that chick reporters don’t check out dudes packages when they do interviews? Give me a break! Okay maybe like Jackie McMullan doesn’t, but you know Heidi Watney is making mental notes every fucking time she steps in there. “Ooh, got to get on that, look at the size at that hammer, I can’t wait to get fucked by him etc” That doesn’t mean she’s not doing her job, but she’s a red blooded American. Like if a dude reporter goes into the Victoria Secret locker room he’s totally going to do the same thing. So let’s stop pretending we’re all in kindergarten here and call a spade a spade.. A good looking woman who is paid to be hot walks into an NFL locker room filled with rich in shape motherfuckers and obviously there is going to be sexual tension and people looking to get fucked. Life doesn’t stop being life just because you’re inside a locker room.

Jets Are In Trouble For Sexually Harassing Mexican Ass Sensation Ines Sainz

ESPN- The NFL is looking into a complaint made by the Association for Women in Sports Media against the New York Jets after a TV reporter was subjected to footballs being thrown in her direction at practice and, later, players’ catcalls inside the locker room. NFL spokesman Greg Aiello said the league already has contacted the Jets. The request by the women’s media organization was made on behalf of Inez Sainz, who represents Mexico’s TV Azteca, who attended practice Saturday as a working member of the media. According to an account in the New York Post, Jets defensive backs coach Dennis Thurman purposely overthrew footballs to players during a drill for defensive backs so that the passes would land near Sainz on the sideline. Linebacker Jason Taylor, who is not part of Thurman’s unit, volunteered to take part in the drills, the Post said. Jets coach Rex Ryan also got involved, according to the Post, when he had Thurman run a pattern near the sideline and intentionally overthrew the coach in Sainz’s direction. Afterward in the Jets locker room, Sainz was greeted by catcalls and hooting. Sainz discussed the experience on her Twitter account. “I die of embarrassment!” Sainz wrote in Spanish. “I am in the locker room of the Jets waiting for Mark Sanchez while trying not to look to anywhere!”

Listen I hate the Jets. Hate em. Despise em. But this is a joke. Seriously if I was Ines Sainz I’d just consider myself lucky that I didn’t ass raped. Because as a man you just can’t sit back and not react to an ass like this. Especially when a chick is flaunting it right in your face. It’s called Social Darwinism. Primal instinct just takes over. So she can spare me the sob story about how conservatively she was dressed and how embarrassed she was. I’m all for women’s rights, but everything about the way she dresses screams I want a dick in the ass right fucking now and I want every guy in here to stop what they’re doing and pay attention to me. She knows it. I know it. Everybody knows it.

Obama needs To Step It Up Motherfucker…

Left to right – Princess Letizia of Spain, French first lady Carla Bruni and, Michelle Obama.

Shit. It’s tough to be a world fucking power when Spain and France’s First Lady’s asses are making a mockery of our First Lady’s ass. And the worst part is you know Putin is like balls deep both those bitches. Come on Obama! Step it the fuck up!

Chick Gets Destroyed By A Watermelon On The Amazing Race

http://www.twitvid.com/Q41DB

I got to be honest. I’m kind of sad I saw this clip. Because I love the Amazing Race and this spoiled what surely would have been a great TV moment for me. Like I probably would have cum myself I watched this in the flow of the show and had no idea it was coming. Either way I’m stunned at how well this chick handled this. I mean my nose would have been shattered into a billion little pieces with blood just leaking everywhere. Chick must be like unbreakable or something. Seriously how do you take a watermelon to the face and not be knocked out cold? This bitch can play for me any day.

PS – That hot little blond sister is so annoying. I already told the First Lady that if we go on the Amazing Race she needs to shut up when I’m doing the challenges and just let me concentrate. Daddy is doing work here.