Lucky Bastard Wins $1 Million Lottery, 3 Months Later Wins $2 Million

Missouri: The odds against winning $1 million in the Lottery: Astronomical. How about doing it twice? It happened to a man from Bonne Terre, Missouri Lottery officials said on Tuesday. Ernest Pullen, 57, won $1 million with a “100 Million Dollar Blockbuster” Scratchers ticket in June. And this month, he won $2 million with a “Mega MONOPOLY” Scratchers ticket. Pullen, a retired military man who was working at the help desk for a telecommunications company before retiring after the first lottery win, said he considers himself to be a “lucky guy.” John Wells of the Missouri Lottery said the chances of winning $1 million in the “$100 Million Dollar Blockbuster” game are 1 in 2.28 million. The odds of winning $2 million in “Mega MONOPOLY” are about the same. Pullen recalled a dream six years ago in which he won a lot of money. Even after the $1 million win in June, he didn’t feel like the dream was complete. He does now. “All the numbers I dreamed about, and all my lucky numbers, were on the card,” Pullen said.

I was watchin Cash Cab the other day. Every day actually. And these two goofballs walked out of the cab with like 650 bucks. And I thought to myself, if I won 650 bones on a cab ride right now I would lose my fuckin mind. I’d probably make out with that Mr. Clean lookin taxi driver. Double or nothin video challenge? Go fuck yourself dude! I can turn the heat on in my apartment this winter with $650. Peace!

Meanwhile this motherfucker is averaging a million a month on goddam scratch offs. “I consider myself to be a ‘lucky guy’” You fuckin think, Ernest? One time I got out of a cab in Madrid and my cell phone fell out of my pocket, but I was able to run down the street and find the cab at a red light and get my phone back. THAT’S lucky. One time I was in a rush and the subway was pulling up as I swiped my metro card. I said to myself, wow thats lucky. One time I convinced a chick who was wayyyyy better looking than me to have sex with me. That was luck mixed with a carefully calculated assault on her inhibitions and judgment with alcohol. These are all lucky things. Not winning back to back bajillion dollar jackpots.

So don’t feed me some bullshit about you having dreams of the numbers like you’re fucking Hurley from lost and say “i guess I’m lucky.” Tell me you’re just the most talented lotto scratcher the world has ever seen or tell me you sold your soul to the devil. Dick. Hope this guy ends up addicted to meth broke in the gutter like all those other mid-westerners who win the lotto.