(Telegraph) - Motorists afflicted by heavy colds or flu suffer a major loss of concentration when behind the wheel, putting themselves and other road users at risk, a new report showed. Car safety experts found a dramatic increase in poor driving when victims of a cold were subjected to scientific tests. Reactions times dropped sharply and sudden braking became much more frequent, as the motorist was less aware of surrounding traffic, while cornering also became erratic. The latest research shows that driving ability is estimated to drop by over 50per cent when motorists are under the weather. This is the equivalent of downing over four double whiskies – a level of driving ability that an insurance company would expect to lead to an accident.
I can 1000% vouch for this. I’m sick as a fucking dog right now. Like the fact I can even walk is making Jordan look like a pussy for hanging his hat on the flu game bullshit for even a second. Every time I sneeze both my arms go numb. That’s not a euphemism. They literally go numb. I don’t even know what it means but I’m pretty sure I’m just sneezing my arms out of their sockets. Anyway I’m sick and have been driving around all day to the doctor’s and getting medicine and shit. And let me tell you, it was fucking DANGEROUS. Like I even noticed that I was swerving all over the fucking place but couldn’t do a thing to stop it. That was before I even read this article, I just knew I was driving like I was four double whiskies deep.
I’ll take it a step further though and just say that having a cold is exactly like being drunk, not just when it comes to driving. The whole thing is one big bender. Stumbling around the house in my sweatpants, haven’t shaved in days, haven’t showered, all I wanna do is eat shitty food, it’s exactly like being hammered except instead of fun shit like hooking up with chicks and dancing all you do is wipe your nose on any piece of cloth in an arms reach.
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