Congo - A STOWAWAY crocodile on a flight escaped from its carrier bag and sparked an onboard stampede that caused the flight to crash, killing 19 passengers and crew. The croc had been hidden in a passenger’s sports bag – allegedly with plans to sell it – but it tore loose and ran amok, sparking panic. A stampede of terrified passengers caused the small aircraft to lose balance and tip over in mid-air during an internal flight in the Democratic Republic of Congo. The unbalanced load caused the aircraft, on a routine flight from the capital, Kinshasa, to the regional airport at Bandundu, to go into a spin and crash into a house. A lone survivor from the Let 410 plane told the astonishing tale to investigators. Ironically the crocodile also survived the crash but was later killed with a machete by rescuers sifting through the wreckage.
Gotta love the Congo, huh? I can’t even walk in the door at JFK with some goddam sunscreen in a carry on but if you’re cruising from Kinhasa to Bandundu just stow your fucking crocodile in the overhead compartment and you’re good to go. This is your captain speaking – please make sure to fasten your seat belts, keep your tray in the upright position and make sure your poached crocodiles stay securely fastened so there’s no chaos resulting in a fiery death crash for everyone on board. Fucking Congo, all you’re good for is talking gorillas and laser guns and diamonds.
That croc probably thought he was a free man too. Escaped from his cage, survived the crash, ready to just waddle away from the wreckage back to the Lost City of Zinj and bingo bango you’re hacked to pieces with a machete.
PS – You couldn’t pay me to get on one of those planes that are so tiny you need to distribute the weight in order to fly. We’re gonna go thousands of feet in the air and if the fatso sitting on the wing sneezes or takes a dump our plane is fucked? Thanks but no thanks.
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