FARGO – Police here arrested a Moorhead man who allegedly wiped feces on his fiancée’s face during an argument early today. Sgt. Mark Lykken said the engaged couple got into an argument about money while the man was using the bathroom. The man allegedly reached into the commode and grabbed feces and wiped it on the woman’s face, he said. The woman’s son attempted to call 911, but the man allegedly grabbed the phone and stopped him, Lykken said.
Starting a fight with your fiancee when he’s in the middle of taking a shit? Well that’s another issue entirely. Just way way out of bounds. Bathroom is sacred ground. Everyone knows that. Just some quiet time to yourself a few times a day sitting on the throne relaxing and reflecting and reading the back of the toothpaste tube and shit. Me time. Bottom line is you violate the man-toilet relationship you’re lucky if all you end up with is taking a glob of shit to the face.
But, listen I’m not going to sit here and debate the merits of rubbing shit in people’s faces. I’m not God so who am I to pass judgment. But what I will say is that regardless of how you feel about this move it is 100% a game ender. “Oh what’s that you say? I don’t work hard enough? I don’t make enough money? I don’t pick up after myself?” Boom! How’s a little doodoo in your eye taste? Game, set, match. There is no comeback for that.
PS – Pretty sure when your mother gets feces smashed in her grill mix this is a 912 situation not 911.
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