Does This Look Like The Face Of A College Bro Busted For Chucking Vomit-Filled Condoms At A Cop?

Daily Herald - A 19-year-old North Central College freshman is accused of luring a campus security officer to a downtown Naperville parking garage and pelting him with vomit-filled condoms. Tyler J. Wilfley is charged with battery and disorderly conduct in connection with the incident that Naperville police said occurred about 2 a.m. May 28. The security officer told police he was responding to a call from a female student who was requesting an escort back to the campus from the parking deck near Chicago Avenue and Washington Street. Police said the security officer did not see the female student when he arrived. When he got out of his vehicle to look around for the woman, at least two vomit-filled condoms were thrown at him, police said. The contents of the condoms struck the officer’s vehicle and got on the officer’s clothes, police said.

Do you know how much liquid a condom can hold? It’s absurd. It’s like at least 100 gallons of liquid. Back in my freshman year we used to order Wings every single night. Midnight Special obviously. Half pound of wings, fries, and a drink for $6.95. Awesome deal. Only problem was the delivery guy was the biggest cocksucker you could possibly imagine. Dude just showed up late every night, sauntered up to the door, dropped your shit on the ground and yelled at you for more tip. Real fucking Chinese prick.

So anyway I finally had enough of getting my midnight special smushed on the pavement so we ordered our shit then filled up some condoms with water and headed up to the roof. Needed 2 people and a towel to carry this thing. About 50 pounds of water. Long story short when dickhead delivery man showed up we let that thing loose from 3 stories up right on top of his head. Not sure if he actually lost consciousness or not but he went down and he went down hard. Dude could have jumped in the ocean and been less wet than he was too. Needless to say the next day Wings announced they would no longer we delivering to Kimmel Hall but it was totally worth it.

And I think that’s similar to what’s going on with the cop here. Be polite and act with a little professionalism for once or you’re taking a water or puke filled rubber to the dome every night of the week regardless of the consequences.