Donnie Walsh Finally Did It

Guess what motherfuckers the Knicks just became relevant again. And this is just the beginning. Who’s next? LeBron? Carmelo? Monta Ellis? Chris Paul? Who the hell knows anymore. But in the next few days there’s a good chance Knicks fans could be looking at not only a relevant team, but a contending team. Imagine that! The Knicks actually good again. Fucking wild, I know. And it doesn’t matter that Amar’e Stoudemire can’t really pass and doesn’t really play D. And it doesn’t matter that he’s had micro-fracture surgery or that he’s one wrong move away from looking like this. Because all that matters is the Knicks matter again. And its been a long god damn time coming.

Fact is this is the biggest star the Knicks have had since Allan Houston and his perfect jump shot back in the day. And yea Stoudemire on his own won’t be bringing titles any time soon, but reunited with D’Antoni, its only a matter of time before Stoudemire is putting up 25-10’s every night and battling Dwight Howard for the title of Best Big Man in the East, which is a lot more exciting than anything else the Knicks have had going on in a while.

So the rest of you bandwagon-jumping losers can go chow down on Prokhorov’s cockmeat sandwiches some more for all I care. Because while him and Jigga Man are busy putting up billboards, the Knicks were busy getting themselves a legitimate superstar. Plus Stoudemire’s nicknames are Black Jesus and STAT for Standing Tall And Talented. Boom right there he’s already a billion times better than anyone else the Knicks have right now.

P.S. Yo LeBron, the fuck you want to play in MJ’s shadow for and the fuck you want to stay in dumpass Cleveland for? Makes no sense. NYC is a billion times better than anywhere else. Mike D’Antoni is going to get you averaging triple-doubles. Do you know how serious that is? And between you and Black Jesus and the Rooster and Wilson Chandler and whoever Donnie Walsh can get for Eddy Curry’s expiring titties, that is a good fucking team right there. So get your shit together, throw on your Yankee hat and come sign on the dotted line with your boy Amar’e. Done and done.