Parents Renting Dominic The Evil Birthday Clown To Stalk Their Kids And Smash A Birthday Cake In Their Face

Huff Po – Dominic Deville rents himself out as an “evil birthday clown” who leaves scary notes for your children, warning them that they’re being watched and that they’ll soon be attacked. At the end of a terrifying week, your child will indeed be attacked. Deville, wearing a freaky clown mask, will smash a cake into your child’s face, Metro reported. Deville is capitalizing on what has become a mainstay for all circus-going kids: the fear of clowns. You may think Stephen King’s “It” was scary, but Deville will keep you shaking in your big, red floppy shoes. Throughout the week leading up to the child’s birthday, “The child feels more and more that it is being pursued,” Deville told Metro. “The clown’s one and only aim is to smash a cake into the face of his victim, when they least expect it, during the course of seven days.” Deville harasses his targets with texts, phone calls and letters to let them know that their time is coming, according to the Herald Sun. Of course, since the creepy stunt is “all in fun,” Deville promises to back off if he’s asked to by parents.

I don’t know why but I found this story absolutely hysterical.  Like I consider myself pretty much the biggest asshole I know but even I think hiring an evil clown to legitimately stalk your 6 year old for a week then eventually break his face with a cake smash in a sneak attack is an asshole move.    Hey I ain’t mad at it.  Seriously kids these days are so spoiled.  MTV covering birthdays for 16 year olds, people freaking out if they don’t get the fucking car they wanted as their gift, running around with their hands out looking for money and presents galore.  Lavish parties everywhere you look.  I’m tired of it and so is Dominic Deville.  You’re god damn right these kids deserve a cake smashed into their faces.  Nothing says happy birthday like a cryptic note from a clown about being viciously attacked when you least expect it.  Sure some may go the Tickle Me Elmo route.  Maybe some pony rides in the backyard or an actor dressed up like a Power Ranger or Hannah Montana or whatever the fad is these days.  Fuck that.  Make that snot nosed punk piss his pants in front of all his friends when a maniacal clown with fangs pops out of a treeline and smashes a marble cake right in his fucking frill piece.  Bet all little Timmy will want for his Sweet 16 is some therapy