brokelyn – Much has been written lately about the upscaling of the vibrator market, but these things are just cray. Check out Fab.com’s whack “grown-up gadget” sale for all kinds of NSFW shit we have no idea how to use.
Is this what women want? Plastic-y spiral penises?
Chicks are really spending $200+ for an oval that vibrates? Here’s a trick honey: it’s called a cell phone. Shit will vibrate til your clit’s content for absolutely free. Hell, I saw an user created game on Xbox Live that turns your controller into a vibrating “massager” for like 2 bucks. Maybe I’m not a huge fan of my lady shoving my left analog stick into her holes, but it’s for damn sure better than blowing $500 on a fake gold vibrator no thicker than my pinkie. For $500 that thing better eat you out, listen to your stories about your job, and fill our house with free wifi. Fifty dollar lube? Does it make pussy NOT taste like pennies?
It’s not that I’m cheap — I wouldn’t even think about buying those sex eggs for myself, either. “Tenga’s elastic polymer egg-shaped aid is actually quite flexible and malleable. Each egg comes with a different textured interior. Simply apply the lubricant and stretch, twist, extend, and mold the polymer material to your desire and pleasure.” So I’m supposed to fuck the eggs? Jerking off is weird in 2012
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