Huff Po - Apparently she didn’t get the “integrity” memo in the Girl Scouts handbook. A South El Monte, Calif., Girl Scout troop leader was caught with her hand in the cookie jar last month when authorities discovered she allegedly stole $6,000 from her own girls, CBS reported. Cops announced this week that Ana Juarez, 30, was arrested on April 17 for allegedly using the troop’s debit card to treat herself to a shopping spree. “It was just shocking to see that we became her own personal piggy bank: gas, nails, Nordstroms, Victoria’s Secret,” troop co-leader Verna de los Reyes told the station. About $2,000 was missing from the troop’s debit account, along with $4,000 in cash that was raised during the Girl Scout cookie sale, de los Reyes said.
Oh what a surprise the biggest crock of shit corrupt organization in the world is led by some sexy smokeshow thief. How shocking. Whats the fuckin difference if $6,000 of cookie money is going to Ana Juarez or if it goes to those little door to door bitches who guilt you into buying shit? Either way its a bunch of broads profiting off of selling overpriced inferior cookies. I’ve said it a million times before – Girl Scout Cookies are the single most overrated thing on the planet earth. The Girl Scouts of America are solely run by the reputation of those cookies.
They’re not actually any good, its just that they only sell them certain periods throughout the year and they run the greatest public relations scam to somehow brainwash people into thinking goddam Thin Mints are the best cookie in the world. Are you kidding me? There’s at least a dozen cookies at your grocery store all year round that are better and cheaper than the piece of shit Tagalongs or Samoas or whatever the stupid names are. I swear the marketing brainwash campaign the Girl Scouts run is right up there with the Catholic Church. A couple of bajillion dollar organizations existing solely because they’ve tricked everyone into believing the end all be all.
Well I got news for you, Girl Scouts. I see right through you. I know your cookies suck and are overpriced. I know that sexy Latina troop leaders steal that money for her and her gangbanger boyfriends. The jig is up. If you need me, I’ll be spending my money on far superior cookies:
5. Stella Dora Swiss Fudge Cookies - Fire cookies. More on the gourmet side. More reminiscent of a bakery cookie.
4. The Black and White Cookie - Ah. Old Ebony and Ivory. Is it a cookie? Is it a pastry? Its some wonderful hybrid. Do you eat the white first? The black first? Bite down the middle so you get a little bit of both? Its like 2 or 3 cookies in one. Most versatile treat in the game.
3. Milano Double Chocolate - One of the bougiest cookies on the market. Pepperidge Farm’s can go fuck themselves with their “Distinctive Cookie” line of treats but I’ll be damned if they didn’t knock it out of the park with the double chocolate Milano. Its the most delicious classy cookie out there
2. Chips Ahoy - This of course includes the Chewy Chips Ahoy offshoot as well. As far as cookies to be purchased and not baked at home, Chips Ahoy is the quintessential chocolate chip cookie. Which, as we all know, is the grandfather of all cookies. I don’t think I could live in a world without Chips Ahoy
1. Double Stuff Oreos - These aren’t even cookies, bro. They’re chocolate cream sandwiches. They are the perfect cookie. When saturated with milk just right, they are absolutely unstoppable. You can twist them apart if you’d like. Eat just the cream. Eat them dry and crunchy or dipped and soft. Still the heavyweight champion of the world, Double Stuf Oreos.
Honorable Mention: Keeblers Fudge Stripes, and those Danish Sugar Cookies that come in that fancy round tin can.
Disclaimer: This is not including any sort of freshly baked cookies. A soft gooey chocolate chip cookie fresh from the oven is just a different story all together.
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